Alphonse and Edward in the Labyrinth
by Waffles Rulez
Summary: Al wishes Ed away to the Labyrinth and Ed gives Jareth hell. Will Al get Ed back? Will Jareth rip out his soft fluffy blonde hair from dealing with Ed? FMAxLabyrinth crossover. Rated T for language
1. Chapter 1

I know you all have been patiently waiting for more, and I promise there will be! I just need to work on the storyboard some more, so please forgive me. In the meantime, I thought I would work on this chapter a little, I don't feel like this is my best work. :/

…

One of Alphonse Elric's little known hobbies was reading fantasy novels. Yes, you read me right. Fantasy novels. Goblins, fairies, little evil gnomes shorter than his brother, Alphonse enjoyed reading about their mischievous selves. They were a nice break from the terrible world he found himself in. Of course, Al would never tell Ed that. Ed would laugh at him and tell him how unscientific it was. Sometimes, Ed could be a real killjoy.

So one day while (secretly) browsing the fantasy section of the Central Library while Ed was during whatever it was midgets do when they're not at home (go to secret midget ninja meetings), a small, red worn book caught Al's attention. It stood out from the dull, green and black books lined up so neatly. Gently pulling the novel off the shelf, the faint gold letters identified the book's title as _The Labyrinth. _They seemed to glimmer slightly in the low light of the library.

'_The Labyrinth huh… this book looks interesting. It must be good if it's so well worn.'_ Al thought as he randomly opened it to a page to sample a few paragraphs.

_Sarah had spun around. Now, in the great wall, she saw a huge, grotesquely designed gate. She stared at it almost accusingly. She could have sworn it had not been there before. _

_"There ain't no door, see?" Hoggle was explaining. "All you got to do now is find the key." _

_She looked back at him and then all around her. She saw at once that it was going to be no problem to find the key. Near her was a very small mat, and from each end of it an enormous key was sticking out. "Well," she said, "that's simple enough." _

_She went over to the key and tried to pick it up. She could just manage to get one end of it off the ground, or the other, but the whole key was too heavy for her to lift up to the keyhole in the gate. She glared at Hoggle. _

'_Wow, this is an awesome book! I can't wait to get home to read it!' _Al was very particular about his books; he only ever checked one or two out at a time. They were easier to hide that way. This was one of those books that made his (metaphorical) heart stir, his fingers itch to turn the pages, his eyes light up to drink in the words.

Al rushed up to the librarian's desk as quickly as he could without making a terrible lot of noise. Of course, some of the patrons glared at him as he thundered past, but the librarian smiled at him, she understood that he didn't mean too. Al was her favorite patron, he was always so sweet.

The librarian examined the book as she stamped the return date...

"_The Labyrinth? _Wow it's been a long time since anyone has checked it out." The librarian said.

"Really? Why?" Al asked quizzically.

"For a while there was a rumor that anyone who read the book had a sibling that went missing. The rumors caused such an uproar that we put it close to the back so hopefully everyone would forget about the book and let the rumors die down." The librarian said in a lowered voice.

"Why not just get rid of the book?"

"Well, every time we tried we kept finding it back on the shelf the next morning. One of the librarians even threw it in the river."

Al's eyes widened. "Wow, that's a lot for a book." He wasn't sure he completely believed it; the book didn't look like it had been thrown in the river. It was certainly a lot of effort, just for a short book.

"Yeah well, the library was full of crazy people complaining to us about having a 'dangerous object' available for check out." What, did the book come armed with machine guns too?

With that, the librarian handed the book back to Alphonse. She smiled and said her farewell. Al bowed to her and headed home, it was only the little red book that was tucked under his arm.


	2. Chapter 2

Al cautiously opened the red front door to his and Edward's tiny home. The home was kept spotless by Al, despite Ed's attempts to turn it into the new neighborhood pigsty. The wooden door creaked, the sound seemed like it reverberated throughout the house, even deep in Alphonse's chest. Al knew his paranoia was making it louder than it really was.

"Brother?" The giant suit of armor called out. "Are you home?"

No response. Al creeped further in, gently closing the door behind him.

'Silly me, he won't be home until five, and its only 2 o'clock now.' Alphonse reminded himself. His heart always raced whenever he returned from the library, it was during his return trip that he was most vulnerable, Al didn't know _what _he would do if Ed ever found out about his books. Ed had been known to return home early sometimes. It was best not to waste any time.

Alphonse hurriedly went upstairs to the small bedroom he and Edward shared to cram in some reading before his brother returned. It was only while Edward showered and was at work that Al had anytime to himself. He was very eager to start reading, but he always was whenever he got a new book.

Alphonse had quickly decided that _The Labyrinth _was his new favorite book. Alphonse had never read a book as vehemently and passionately as he did this one. He didn't even enjoy reading _The Dummies Guide to Alchemy_ as much as he did _The Labyrinth, _and that said a lot. His eyes raced over the words, pages flying beneath his fingers.

Unfortunately, Al could only read it when Ed wasn't there so as to avoid the short man's taunts. It was like trying to hide a bomb beneath the general's nose, but the general wasn't even aware that the bomb existed. Ed despised fairytales with a fiery, burning passion. A fairytale was the only kind of literature Edward **wouldn't **stick his nose in. The last time he had caught Al reading a fairytale Ed wouldn't let off the taunting for weeks. Ed still liked to tease Al about it sometimes.

Edward had stumbled upon Al's borrowed copy of _Twilight _in the bathroom after Al had forgotten to take it out, and the taunting hell had begun. Ed had waved it around the apartment, picking random pages to read aloud and pick apart, trying to scientifically discredit every word. Alphonse still had nightmares about it.

So Al read _The Labyrinth _every day for a week, whenever he got some time without Edward. Al kept the book such a well kept secret even the CIA would look like noobs.

However, with all secrets, somehow the rabbit is going to find its way out of the tunnel.


	3. Chapter 3

Alphonse was lying on his stomach on the bed upstairs. Had he been sitting, he would have been on the edge of his chair. He was so close to the end of the novel, Alphonse could almost see, almost _taste_ Jareth's glitter. He was so engrossed; perhaps the words would reach up and jerk him into their fantasy world. Sarah's entourage was currently trying to stay alive inside the Goblin City. ….

…_On the other hand, she had posted her most valorous knight__inside a bolted wooden door, where nothing at all was going to__happen Inexperience, that was all it was. He was wondering whether__to disobey orders and join them at the window when a… _

…somewhat high pitched voice interrupted Alphonse's concentration.

"Hey Al, I'm home!" Edward called from downstairs.

"Hey brother." Alphonse half heartedly replied, his concentration failing to stray from the novel to set the alarm bells off.

"Al? Are you here?" Ed didn't hear Alphonse's reply. Edward looked around the living room and kitchen, and upon not seeing his seven foot tall brother, decided to move upstairs. Al was still drinking the sweet elixir of the novel up.

Edward pushed the bedroom door open. "Al, are you here?"

The metal giant jumped off the bed faster than Roy tried to get in a girl's skirt. Al jerked the book behind his back. You wouldn't think a metal suit of armor could be so nimble. "O-o-oh h-hey brother. W-what are you doing up here?"

"I was just wondering where you were Al. Why are you shaking so much?" Edward's golden eyes raked over Al's body, trying to figure out what was wrong.

"Y-you j-ust s-s-cared me, that's all."

Edward flopped down on Al's bed, trusting his word. "Well, you shouldn't be hiding upstairs."

"I-I-I wasn't hiding!" Al denied.

"Well what were you doing then?"

"I was, uh, napping."

"You don't take naps Al."

Al could only stare at Ed; he wasn't able to think of a better lie.

"Al, are you hiding something behind your back?" A set of golden eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"N-no, why would I be?" Oh Alphonse, you are s_uch _a terrible liar.

Ed sat up on the bed, suddenly _extremely _interested. "Then let me see your hands." Alphonse wasn't one to keep secrets. It had to be something _really _juicy. Naked women juicy perhaps?

"No, I don't have to show you anything!" Alphonse wailed. He tried to run out of the room, but Edward pounced on his leg effectively tripping the running metal suit of armor.

"So let me see it Al, where's the porn?" Edward cried as he and Al began wrestling on the floor. Ed was trying to grab whatever Al had in his hand, but he just couldn't reach it. That was another drawback to being short, you had short arms.

"What are you talking about brother? I'm not into that kind of thing!" Al wailed indignantly.

"So what's in your hand?"

"Nothing!"

After a few more moments of wrestling, Ed pounced on a giant metal arm and snatched Al's new favorite novel out of his hand.

"_The Labyrinth_ huh? Odd name for a porn novel…" Edward mused.

"That's because it's not porn!" Al protested.

"Well let's see what it is… _Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I__have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City, to take__back the child you have stolen._" Edward read aloud.

The room was silent for a moment, Ed was staring straight at Al, and Al could only stare back.

Suddenly, Ed's boisterous laughter exploded. "Al, you're **still** reading these silly fairy tales? How many times do I have to tell you they don't exist?"

Tears started to well up at the corners of Al's eyes. "They're not silly!"

"Yes they are, look at this bullshit! It's unbelievably unscientific!"

"You're the silly one! I wish the Goblin King would come and take you away right now!" Tears were welling up in Alphonse's eyes; he could never take the teasing that Edward always took too far.

Ed didn't stop laughing. He threw the book on the bed and walked out of the room to fix dinner.

Al slammed the door shut behind Ed. "I hate you brother!"

"You're filling your head with nonsense Al!"

Al threw himself on the bed and cried into the pink, kitty covered comforter, however the kittens on the covers of the bed weren't the only ones who watching or listening. And someone was watching _very _intently.


	4. Chapter 4

Ed walked downstairs to the kitchen, still laughing to himself. "Fairytales, what a load of shit. Well, I guess I should at least fix dinner…"

Ed started to rummage around in the fridge for something to scrape together into a meal when suddenly the lights in the kitchen went out.

"What the hell, did I forget to pay the power bill again?" Ed mused aloud.

Ed started to leave the kitchen to return upstairs and ask Al if he had paid the power bill when there was a huge BANG accompanied with a large gust of wind from behind.

Ed whipped around and there, in front of the open window, was a tall man with a cocky smirk on his face. He dressed in a black coat who had enough eye makeup on to choke a raccoon. A torrent of glitter was dancing around the kitchen, and Ed heard a chorus of evil little giggles from behind him. The wind tugged and played with Ed's hair and clothes, occasionally throwing pocketfuls of glitter into his face.

"What the hell is going on? Who the hell are you?" Edward demanded.

"Come with me little boy, we are going to the Labyrinth." The stranger said in a silky voice.

"What the hell are you, a pedophile? No way am I going with you!" Edward shrieked. Before he could do anything, however, his world went black.

Alphonse sniffed one more time, and decided to go downstairs to see if Edward was cooking. He doubted it, Ed was probably still laughing at him. His brother like to dwell on things like that. It had been an hour since Ed had caught him reading _The Labyrinth_, and he hadn't come upstairs to taunt him about it since.

'_I don't know why I would bother checking on him, why should I care if he burns the house down trying to cook, or even if he gets to eat at all!'_

Al descended the steps and decided to turn right and check the living room first. Nope, no Ed. There wasn't a blonde midget in the kitchen or the bathroom either.

"Brother, where are you?" Alphonse was starting to get a little bit worried; Ed wouldn't just up and leave like that.

Alphonse decided to check the kitchen again. His eyes almost fell out of his metal helmet. There, glinting in the lightless kitchen was glitter everywhere, and not just a fine coating, but it looked like a glitter factory had barfed, and not just once or twice, but _everywhere. _It was on the ceiling, in piles on the floor, and you couldn't even see what color the kitchen counters were. If Al wore socks, he would have bet them that there were massive piles in the fridge and the drawers too.

"Brother, where are you? What did you do?" Suddenly, Al was very, very scared, and what was even scarier was that he didn't a reason for his intense panic.

Evil little voices started whispering, and Al frantically whirled around to see their owners, but there was nothing behind him. He turned back around, and several drawers slammed shut accompanied by the clang of cutlery.

"Ed, this isn't funny!" Al's fear was rising to a fever pitch; he didn't know what to do.

The window flew open for the second time that night, and the glitter swirled in a crazy, psychedelic dance. Alphonse covered his face with his hands. When he removed his hands after a few moments, the glitter had decided to rest again, but in front of the window was a man.

Alphonse knew _exactly _who this was.

And he knew _exactly _why he was there.


	5. Chapter 5

"Goblin King, give me my brother back!" Alphonse demanded.

"Well, well. That's no way to speak to someone who has done a tremendous favor."

"You haven't done me any favor, you took my brother!" Alphonse

"What's said is said Alphonse, you should know that."

"And you should know that I didn't mean it."

"Too bad Alphonse. Go back upstairs, finish reading that novel, go on with life. Don't worry about your brother, he's safe with me."

"I can't, he's the only family I've got left!" Alphonse wailed desperately.

The Goblin King started to walk towards Alphonse, glitter swirling around his heels. He held his arm out as he did so. A chatoyant, sparkling ball materialized in his gloved hand.

Alphonse started to back away towards the living room. "Stay away from you spandex wearing pedophile! I don't want to be in your porn movies!"

Jareth stopped abruptly in his tracks, his face now a mask of boiling rage. "You insolent boy, I am not a pedophile! Shut up, look at what I am offering you!" Jareth hissed.

Alphonse watched as images swirled in the surface of the ball, but he was too far away to make it out clearly.

"I'm offering you a way to see your dreams. You would be foolish not to take it."

Alphonse stared mystified at the object in the Goblin King's hand. This little ball, could it give him all that he and his brother had been searching for…?

"Well?" The Goblin King asked.

Alphonse mentally shook himself, there was no way something so little could give him what he wanted. "No, I don't believe you!"

Jareth threw the ball to the ground angrily where it exploded in a storm of sparks.

"I want my brother back!" Alphonse screamed.

Jareth pointed out the window. "He is there, inside of my castle!"

Alphonse ran to the window. A tall, terrifying castle stood in the middle of a winding labyrinth.

"Brother, I'm coming!" Alphonse shouted. The room around him melted away, and he charged towards the labyrinth.

"You foolish boy, you have only thirteen hours to find him, or else he is mine forever." Jareth's voice taunted in his ear, but Alphonse knew Jareth was already in the castle, waiting for him.


	6. Chapter 6

You know, I went back and read some of my earlier chapters, and I am ASHAMED of their quality, so I've fixed all of them up except the previous chapter (on my to do list) so please, forgive me, and forgive the delay in this chapter. This is of a much more acceptable quality, so enjoy! I have also started a blog by the way, if anyone is interested, message me for the link. I also wanted to make this a smidgen longer, but I also wanted to give it to you ASAP. Continue on loves!

Alphonse stood on top the hill, his mind completely focused on the task thrust before him. Damn Jareth, no one got away with stealing his brother! Still, a small part of Al's brain couldn't help but admire the beauty and complexity of the Labyrinth stretched out at the base of the hill. Eos's rosy fingers stroked it, illuminating it, bringing it to a height of brilliance unachievable by human architecture.

Still, he had to get moving. Thirteen hours (What a magical number!) was all he had; he couldn't afford to waste it. Al started to run down the hill, but that was a mistake. His feet slid in the grey dirt, throwing him off balance. He somersaulted through the air, his eyes growing wide, before hitting the ground _hard, _so hard his whole body rattled. He continued to roll down the hill, rocks jabbed him in the back and sticks stabbed him in the eyes.

Finally, Alphonse slowed to a stop at the base of the hill. At least he landed face up. A pond was at this head, the Labyrinth to his left. Al lay there a second, trying to recover his wits, staring as the tie dye sky. An odd, tinkling noise caught his attention. He rose up on one arm.

'_THERE'S AN OGRE MIDGET TAKING A PISS!'_

Al jumped to his feet, blushing like a peeping tom. The clanking and clattering caught Hoggle's attention.

Al clamped his eyes shut; he was trembling and shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. "I-I-I-I-I-I'm s-s-s-sor-r-ry m-m-mister o-ogre sir! I d-didn't mean to see you taking a leak!" Al squeaked out.

Hoggle zipped up his pants. "It's alright lad, no harm no foul."

Hoggle reached down and picked up what looked like a pump pesticide sprayer and walked up to the Labyrinth's wall, which Al conveniently noticed was considerably taller than him. Al walked up behind Hoggle, watching what he was killing. Fairies with glittering, iridescent wings were tumbling to the ground in a mist of pesticide.

"Oh, that's terrible!" Al said as he bent down, picking up a fairy.

"There's nothing terrible about that, fairies are nasty little things!"

"What do you mean, they're adorable!" Al said, disbelief staining his voice.

Hoggle stopped spraying and looked at Alphonse. "What do you mean they're adorable? It's practically gnawed your finger off!"

Al looked at his hand. True to Hoggle's word, the fairy was working very hard at biting his finger off. However, her little teeth hadn't even made a scratch in Al's armor.

He started waving his hand around frantically. "Getoffgetoffgetofffgetof!"

The fairy landed on the ground where Hoggle squished her further into the dirt.

"You didn't feel that all did you?"He asked Al, somewhat suspiciously.

"No not at all." Alphonse answered.

Hoggle looked him up and down. "Are you human?"

Al took his helmet off. "See for yourself."

Hoggle took this as a good enough answer and went back to spraying. "I haven't seen you around here before. What are you doing?"

"I'm going to solve the Labyrinth and get my brother back!"

Hoggle turned his head slowly, staring at Alphonse deep in the eyes. "You're going in the Labyrinth? Big mistake. Leave your brother there. Go home." The suit of armor couldn't believe the steely calm that Hoggle said this with.

"I can't. He's the only family I have left." Al decided not to waste more time with the cruel ogre midget, and walked up to the wall, feeling for the door. Hoggle shook his head and went back to spraying. He knew better than to help people, just better to mind his own business. Keep his head and hands where they belonged.

Al felt along the wall, figuring that the door had to be hidden. This wouldn't be difficult if it wasn't.

"Door, where are you?" Al asked himself in a whisper. It materialized to his left. Hoggle walked up behind him.

"See that's all you had to do."

"I thought you weren't going to help." Al said with a quiet, deadly calm, the kind of calm that told he was angry, even though it didn't sound that way.

"Well, I'm just pointing out that if you couldn't even figure that out without stumbling upon by accident, maybe you shouldn't travel the Labyrinth." Hoggle was talking like someone who was caught in a lie, and was still trying to get all of the benefit out of their now defunct lie.

Alphonse knew this, and ignored Hoggle. He pushed one side of the double steel door open, and strode confidently into the ancient maze. Hoggle shook his head; the fool didn't know what he was up for.


End file.
